My boyfriend said he’d break up with me if I get anymore work done. I do not respond well to threats. Anyways, who the fuck cares, if I want to blow money on body modification what’s the big deal? Nobody’s giving anyone shit about tattoos. I don’t need therapy, I want to get plastic. Who cares???? It’s my body. People say they find fake stuff like that unattractive but that’s inherently untrue, because those fake ass people are beauty icons and few are any the wiser. It’s not my goal to be a super model or anything like it’s just for me. It’s what I want, it’s who I am. Yeah I want to shave down the bridge on my nose. I want to inject my face with Botox. I want more lip injections. These things make me feel good…….. It’s fucking addictive. But it’s what I want, almost obsessively. I’m stripping for money anyways I might as well find a fixation to play with. Tattoos are for pussies, put me under anesthesia and bash my body into perfection. No I don’t think I’ll ever be perfect that’s not what I mean. I’m making a statement. I couldn’t tell him angrily how passionate and unfair his remarks were, because he’s really smart and he’d be right anyway and make me feel stupid. I have these weird dreams, surgical nightmares. I get it. Like that scene in Repo The Genetic Opera where Paris Hilton’s face falls off. Yes. I used to be such a dark stormy little goth girl, but I was so sweet and naive then. Now that I’ve lightened up my head is darker than ever. Is that irony?